Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
