I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
