I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
