it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
