We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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