I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
