this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
