I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
