yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
