Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
