I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
