I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
