Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is it because I queefed?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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