Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
