Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
