It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
