Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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