So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Im part way to drunk.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
