are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
