When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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