dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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