I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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