She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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