I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
