Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
