"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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