She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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