i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
try to milk me bitch
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
