"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
