Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Umm I'm too high to move.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
