we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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