worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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