He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
