1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
