I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
