Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm too high and old for this...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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