Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
