they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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