margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
