Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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