Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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