The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
