She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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