I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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