She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
