I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
