The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
