No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
