i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
