idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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